


Odious Affairs- A Count Olaf x Jacques Snicket Smut Fanfic

by OdiousEye



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Boys Kissing, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OdiousEye/pseuds/OdiousEye
Summary: The nefarious Count Olaf has yet again lured poor Jacques Snicket into a dastardly trap. But with a fair amount of seduction, charm and poise from his greatest adversary and old flame, Jacques Snicket is beginning to wonder whether the true purpose of this trap is to pry from him the location to the sugar bowl....or the key to win his heart. But with someone as scheming and as brilliant as Count Olaf...one can never truly know.Read to find out more.
Relationships: Count Olaf/Jacques Snicket
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Odious Affairs- A Count Olaf x Jacques Snicket Smut Fanfic

**Author's Note:**

> Salutations, Tis I. Odious with a new Fanfic. This time featured Jacques Snicket and Count Olaf. I really enjoyed their chemistry and bantering and decided to take it one further by writing a fanfic about them, so sit back relax. Enjoy yourself while reading this Fanfic and if you like it please pop down and write a comment or give a Kudos. Much appreciated.

Dramatically the chair swivelled around to reveal a most devastating foe, perched on the grand leather seat in the principals office, with nothing but an upraised eyebrow and his hands pressed together as though he were scheming was the nefarious Count Olaf.  
“Hasn’t your mother ever told you to expect the unexpected.”

“Well I expected for something unexpected to happen Olaf, so it doesn’t count.” Jacques explained as he thought to himself. Blimey a trap, I should have known it was all too convenient when my sources got a tip off. Now he was trapped in the company of Count Olaf in the principal office of Prufrock Preparatory School.

“COUNT- my name is COUNT OLAF. YOU WILL SAY IT CORRECTLY! OR NOT AT ALL.” He leaned forward so far he almost seemed to fall out of his chair. “ITS C-O-N-T.” Count Olaf paused, looking to the side of the room. He paused for so long the silence got awkward that even Jacques Snicket was perplexed. He began to help them. “O-L-“

“Ahh Ahh Ahh zip it nerd! I know how to spell my own name, I don’t need you to help Snicket. Don’t add salt to the beef brisket.” Count Olaf sat up straighter than ever, what he lacked in spelling he made up for in confidence as he quite adamantly misspelled his own name. “O-L-F.”

“That’s not- that’s not how you spe-“ Jacques was cut off almost instantly.  
“Quiet! Spelling, spelling doesn’t count.” Count Olaf huffed as though he was annoyed at the mere mention of spelling.  
“I-I’m not sure about that old friend it kind of does...cou-“ Jacques tilted his head as he het again didn’t get to finish his sentence.  
“Shush...you Snickets and you’re goody two shoes values...and your ability to spell words good. I’ve had enough of your meddling..in my plans and my spelling you will pay.” His voice almost dripping with venom. 

Fortunately for Jacques this was less than his first Rodeo show encountering Count Olaf.  
“Let me guess shark infested pools beneath my feet? A singular rope to dangle from? No escape.” Jacques asked with a raised eyebrow of his own...and for the first time in a very long time...Count Olaf looked uncomfortable.  
He scoffed...”Pssh no..what do I look like a second rate villain?” 

He leaned forward and pressed a red button on the desk, covering his mouth as he whispered into an intercom. “Get rid of the sharks, no you idiots do it now!” But Jacques heard every word as it echoed in the room.  
Before sitting upright and coughing quite awkwardly. “Something far more dastardly, far more clever. You won’t even see it coming.” He recovered from his awkward stance to look as smug as ever.  
“Olaf...Count Olaf please, we were friends once...you were a good man,” 

Jacques slowly started to approach the table, much to Count Olaf’s grievance. “We fought together, ate together...shared the same strifes...and even...the same....bed.” He reached out his hand as though he was trying to calm a startled animal. “We were...allies and lovers once...can we not be that again?”

His kind eyes, so softly looking at Olaf, the gentleness of his brow, and kind lines of his intelligible face. Jacques Snicket could just look at someone and they’d melt. “You think you can bat your eyelashes at someone and they’d...melt like cotton candy, with your handsome moustache, perfectly coiffed hair and that stupid agreeable face.” Count Olaf grasped his hand yanking him forward until his nose was almost touching Jacques. “And you think I’m the insidious one.” 

He bought up the mans soft weathered hands pressing the darkest of kisses to it making something akin to a shiver roll itself up Jacques spine all these years...and this man could still make him tremble, his charm never wavering..”Jacques....your kindness...is more dangerous than any weapon in my arsenal.” He spoke his name like a prayer, almost wistful. His kiss still burning on Jacques hand and it was most regrettably so wonderful in Jacques’s opinion. He was caught in Olaf’s fierce gaze, which were like two burning pieces of coal. He suddenly felt like was on a rope dangling over shark infested pools of water...metaphorically. 

“But I can tell you this...you might sorely regret....extending such niceties. Jacques Snicket, because a storm is coming.” A storm is coming could mean many things it could be the weather outside which was currently pelting down rain on the poor windows assaulting the pane with everything it could, or the way the building almost rocked from turbulous winds threatening to crumble Prufrock Preparatory School completely, but in this case this dastardly theatric was also referring to a storm of reckoning and revenge, the very that that seemed to be intently brewing in the vile villainous creature that was Olaf eyes. 

The grey of his pupil, hiding rolling seas which tumbled and ominously smashed against a lighthouse threatening to crush it to pieces. As lightening crashed about. Never had Jacques Snicket felt so unsafe...and so...very.....charmed like a boat bobbing in the seas of Count Olaf’s evil plan. “Oh good heavens Olaf..what have you done?” He could only mutter.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave Kudos and Comments if you like this.


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